Where's the love?

Where is the love? Painting of big red heart

We can’t love in a sustained way without Christ, because God is love.

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. -I John 4:7,8

So where’s the love?

So where’s the love when you mix in pornography? How does porn affect love? Well in an general sense, we know that:

Love gives, Lust takes

The minute you choose to look on a woman to lust for her, you’ve severed your ability to love those closest to you, because the spirit of lust circumvents the spirit of God.

We play games with Adultery

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.” – Jesus’ teaching from the Sermon on the Mount

The last time I looked, Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery is one of the Ten Commandments.

So if we are violating one of God’s ten commandments, how can we think we’re still connected to God? Put it in the perspective of your children. If your son is blatently disobeying you, how much tender love are you showing him then? None? You can’t- you have a job to do as his dad, to discipine him to bring him back around.

So when we willfully sin, we break his ‘channel’ through us. If you get really good at this stuff, you can instantly sense a change in your spirit when you cross over into lust. For me it’s a callousness that I feel in my heart. 

When you fall, reconnect the pipe


Reality is that we’re going to fall, just as our kids mess up at times. God knows that and when you slip he wants nothing more than for you to get right and return to Him. Instead of letting the stuff fester, confess your sin and let God’s love flow through you again- immediately. 

Spiritual Breathing

  • You “exhale”- confess your sin and claim His forgiveness
  • You “inhale”- ask the Holy Spirit to fill you and empower you and to keep you from returning to your sin

Campus Crusade founder Bill Bright says that, “Spiritual breathing is the one thing that causes my heart to be constantly aflame for him. Here I am, Bill Bright, a very sinful, depraved person. Christ comes to live within me, he died on the cross for my sins — past, present, and future. I’m promised that if I walk in the light, the blood of Jesus cleanses me from all sin. Not to live in the joy of the resurrection is to dishonor our Lord, because he gave us the power. It is like pushing your car around instead of driving it.'” (7/14/97, Christianity Today).

For more in-depth teaching on the Spiritual Breathing concept and other gems such as the FACT-FAITH-FEELINGS TRAIN from Bright, click here.


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About Scott St. Onge

I help men become better husbands and dads through sexual purity.
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